3-24-24 “Who is Our Family?” (Membership Caring Month #4)

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“Who is Our Family?”

(Membership Caring Month #4)

            I want to start with something funny that I found on an internet site: A boy asks his father, “Dad, are bugs good to eat?”  “That’s disgusting. Don’t talk about things like that over dinner,” the dad replies. After dinner the father asks, “Now, son, what did you want to ask me?” “Oh, nothing,” the boy says. “There was a bug in your soup, but now it’s gone.”

Today, I want to talk about “family,” concluding my membership sermon series. What do you think a family is? Typically, family refers to a group of people who are related by blood, marriage, or adoption. They often live together and share emotional bonds, responsibilities, and resources. A sociologist describes “family” as the smallest social group. From birth, humans belong to a family first, and as they grow, they learn about building relationships among family members. Before adolescence, individuals experience a range of positive and negative emotions, such as love, care, joy, confidence, sadness, hatred, suffering, powerlessness, weakness, and living habits within the family. There is a Korean saying, “The habits formed at three years old last until eighty,” meaning that family influences a person’s entire life. Who is your family? Who would be influenced by you, or whom would influence your life?

I believe I’ve mentioned before that in Korea, the concept of family literally translates to “a group who eats meals together.” Koreans hold the belief that sharing food is an expression of love and care, serving as a means to foster unity within a group. Although the definition of family has evolved in modern times, this mindset of sharing food persists in Korean society. Here are some examples: when someone lands a job, it’s customary for the company to host a dinner for the new employee and all their coworkers as a way to welcome them. Similarly, when forging friendships, Koreans often bond over shared meals, considering it almost obligatory to commemorate the occasion with food. Even in romantic relationships, sharing a meal together signifies the beginning of a couple’s journey; it’s not uncommon for a shared dinner to mark the official start of dating. Moreover, many Korean churches continue the tradition of communal meals, hosting fellowship gatherings after services. In essence, Koreans place great significance on the act of eating together, viewing it as a catalyst for fostering bonds of love and care among individuals.

In Jesus’ ministry, the act of feeding people and sharing meals together held significant importance. When Jesus dined with the poor and outcast, it provoked criticism from others who labeled him as “a friend with tax collectors and sinners.” Jesus himself emphasized the bond of friendship with his disciples, stating, “I call you my friends because I made known to you everything I learned from my Father” (John 15:15). In the Bible, those who come together to share meals, joys and concerns are often referred to as friends. However, what about the concept of family?

One day, Jesus taught the people and performed many healings, even casting out evil spirits. His teaching and healing power amazed many, but some began to speculate that he might be possessed by an evil spirit. This rumor spread throughout the region and reached Jesus’ family. His mother, Mary, and his brothers came to him, intending to bring him back home because they believed the rumor that he was possessed by an unclean spirit.

Someone informed Jesus, “Your mother and brothers and sisters are outside, asking for you.” Then, Jesus asked, “Who are my mother and my brothers?” And looking at those who sat around him, and he said, “Here are my mother and my brothers! Whoever does the will of God is my brother and sister and mother.” Jesus thus offered a new definition of family, emphasizing that those who fulfill God’s will are regarded as his family.

In summary, we understand that family comprises those who not only share meals but also joys and concerns, and work towards common goals. As a Christian family, our work should align with the will of God. Let’s reflect on ourselves as a church family! Do we share meals together? The answer may be both “Yes and No” if we consider meal fellowships like potlucks, soup suppers, or Easter and Christmas gatherings. However, in Christianity, food isn’t just physical sustenance, but also spiritual nourishment, the living word of God. Jesus emphasized this when he said, “One does not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of God” (Matthew 4:4). Thus, we can affirm that we indeed partake in soul food together, rooted in our belief in One God. Of course, we definitely share the Lord’s Supper on Communion service. Additionally, we share joys and concerns every Sunday; celebrating together when someone shares their joys and offering empathic prayers when someone expresses their concerns. We come together in God’s house to collaborate on the will of God. Don’t you think it is a church family?

Since coming to the USA, I have found myself involved with two families. During my time as an intern Pastor at the Anglican church while studying at Garrett Seminary, I shared about losing both my mother and father during my initial ministry. After my first sermon, a congregant approached me, held my hands, and kindly invited me to her home for Christmas lunch. She introduced me to her family members, and we shared a Christmas meal together. She then affectionately declared herself my “American mommy,” and since then, she has been like a mother to me. I shared all my news with her, and she became a significant figure in my life. Her husband, a Korean War veteran, and her ministry leading the Craft Group, which made prayer shawls and quilt blankets to support the hospital, hold special meaning for me to be connected with our craft ministry. Her passing in October 2019 deeply affected me, and I had the opportunity to attend her funeral service.

My other familial connection is with my spiritual mentor, who graciously invited me to stay in her parsonage. After completing my Ph.D. program, I intended to continue my M.Div. program for ministerial education. However, as my Ph. D. scholarship’s housing arrangement ended, I needed a new place to stay. My mentor offered her home to support me financially.  She is a single mother with a teenage daughter, and although we faced conflicts and challenges at times, we grew closer as a family through them. We celebrated each other’s joys, supported one another through tears and prayers during difficult times. I vividly remember their unwavering support when I had to visit the emergency room with a frozen shoulder; they stayed with me the entire night. Despite not being bound by blood or legal ties, we became a family in Jesus’ love.

I firmly believe that a Christian family should care for one another especially during moments of weakness, sadness, helplessness and powerlessness. It’s easy to make friends when one is in good standing, but true family sticks around during the toughest times. Church membership holds significant value in providing support and care, especially for the vulnerable and hopeless. We are called to fulfill God’s will, which includes being there for each other.  So, I ask you again, who is your family when you are weak, sad, helpless, and powerless? Will you extend your love and support to the vulnerable, the weak, the sick, and the powerless, just as Jesus did? Thanks be to God! Amen!